by Mr. Schnell
Don’t panic … PARTY FIRST! Pack ’em in Mar-A-Lago style. Throw the first “Nasal Swab Party” on your block. As soon as test kits become available you can find out for sure if you are as negative as The President of the United States. In this administration nobody wants to be positive, never have been, never gonna be, and by golly they aren’t. Party till positive but be forewarned positive partiers, although generally the life of the party, will be asked to leave, escorted from the premises promptly and quarantined like always. Remember Epstein, Paul Manafort, General Flynn, and lawyer Michael Cohen. Party animals all and all but Flynn currently quarantined, Epstein permanently! But rules are rules and the Commander-In-Chief is a known stickler for following rules as we are all aware.
Haz Mat isolation party space suits available upon request, substantial donation, and appropriate social class affiliation.
No snorting nuthin before swabbing, not even Adderall.
Oh, and stay three feet apart.