Don’t Panic

by Mr. Schnell

Don’t panic … PARTY FIRST! Pack ’em in Mar-A-Lago style. Throw the first “Nasal Swab Party” on your block. As soon as test kits become available you can find out for sure if you are as negative as The President of the United States. In this administration nobody wants to be positive, never have been, never gonna be, and by golly they aren’t. Party till positive but be forewarned positive partiers, although generally the life of the party, will be asked to leave, escorted from the premises promptly and quarantined like always. Remember Epstein, Paul Manafort, General Flynn, and lawyer Michael Cohen. Party animals all and all but Flynn currently quarantined, Epstein permanently! But rules are rules and the Commander-In-Chief is a known stickler for following rules as we are all aware.

Haz Mat isolation party space suits available upon request, substantial donation, and appropriate social class affiliation.

No snorting nuthin before swabbing, not even Adderall.

Oh, and stay three feet apart.

Remember Good Handwashing and Don’t Share Swabs

Published by starvingcartoonist

StarvingCartoonist is a former ICU nurse that has worked at numerous civilian, military, and veteran Intensive Care Units across the country for better than three decades but has been sketching, drawing, and cartooning since he first picked up a crayon in kindergarten. Dabbled with political cartooning, writing, and general illustrations but the bread and butter came from health care. Recently left professional nursing to concentrate on camping, hiking, nature, the outdoors, trees, trails, and peace of mind. Love a campfire; rather watch it than TV. Avoid bureaucracy, career ladders, ladder climbers, and hero worship at all cost. Evenings spent with a good book, reading until the book smacks my nose when I doze off. Generally up at sun rise, listen to the mourning doves, put the coffee on, and play it by ear the rest of the day.

5 thoughts on “Don’t Panic

  1. “ Remember Good Handwashing and Don’t Share Swabs”

    “Don’t Share Swabs”

    “Don’t Share Needles”

    “Don’t Share Dentures”

    “Don’t Share Toothbrushes”

    “Don’t Share Condoms”

    “Don’t Share Enemas”

    “Don’t Share Contact Lenses”

    “Don’t Share Toilet Paper”

    “Don’t Share Air Sickness Bags”

    “Don’t Share Catheters”

    “Don’t Share Wives”

    “Don’t Share …

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Sorry, Not My Job.

        AMF YO-YO

        BUT… if I did try to do that… WWRD (What Would Randumbthoughts Do?)… I would set it up as a multi-panel job like your “Darwin Memorial Hospital” piece.

        Like

      2. I should have written, “the challenge for me, now, randomthoughts, is putting all…”
        yeah…I like your idea and especially that last line “no sharing….”
        Each no sharing quip (ie no sharing toothbrush, no sharing razor, no sharing wives…) conjures up a humorous illustration in and of itself

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Just realized that my original list was inadvertently macho-sexist… I totally neglected to list Women’s concerns, such as:

        “Don’t Share Husbands”

        “Don’t Share Tampons”

        “Don’t Share Sanitary Napkins”

        “Don’t Share Nursing Babies”

        Etc.

        Ooops… Just realized that this addendum to my original list is also inadvertently macho-sexist…

        As Emily Litella used to say:
        “Never Mind”.
        (Let the young whipper-snappers look it up themselves.)

        If you happen to possess an Eleven-Foot Pole (as opposed to a Ten-Foot Pole… No Pun Intended!!!) you are welcome to include this addendum to your multi-panel masterpiece.

        Or maybe I should just STFU before I dig myself into a deeper hole… No!… No!… Make Me Stop!!… MAKE ME STOP!!!

        Liked by 1 person

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