By Mr. Schnell
I recently ran across an article discussing leadership integrity that mentioned something of which I was unaware but solved a mystery I had been pondering for awhile. It concerned dining in restaurants with certain relatives and noticing their personality “change” when the waiter arrived. They seemed to suddenly become rude, demanding, and embarrassingly obnoxious. For me it ruins the dining experience so I turn down their invitations now.
I wondered what the hell was going on but now know my relatives are practicing something known as a “situational value system”.
Bill Swanson, Raytheon CEO/Chairman stated, “Watch out for people who have a situational value system, who can turn the charm on and off depending on the status of the person they are interacting with. Be especially wary of those who are rude to people perceived to be in subordinate roles.”
The article further mentioned that “a person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person“. I agree.
I also think this can be extended to include hospitalized patients with situational value systems.
A while back one of my relatives had a stroke. We talked on the phone and he mentioned he had to urinate so he put his call light on for the nurse. He told me that she did not answer his light fast enough so “to teach her a lesson” he “pissed the bed so she would have to clean it up”. His words. That was what he said to me (at the time I was an ICU nurse working open heart recoveries).
I don’t know if that actually happened (he was post-stroke and about 500 miles away) but that is what he told me on the phone. I could only take his word, but I have to tell you I was “not impressed”. As a nurse myself, I have had to clean up messes like he described. Some patients are sick and don’t know what they are doing but I also believe now that some have a “Situational Value System”. This particular relative viewed nurses as “working for him” and therefore “subordinate”. (Similarly he views waiters or waitresses as subordinates when dining in a restaurant. They “work for him!”).
He is the same relative that said you make the highest rank you can so you “can shit on everyone else“. This was years before he had a stroke. (When I look at Trump I see this relative. Guess who he voted for in 2016 and guess who hates my anti-Trump cartoons?)
Nurses put up with lots of “misbehavior”. It comes with the territory of working with the ill. People are not always in their right frame of mind when sick. We practice “nonjudgmental acceptance” and forge ahead taking care of patients in the most professional, caring, compassionate way we can; regardless of their behaviors and actions.
And sometimes, unfortunately, we have to endure how much the patient appreciates our efforts, as this “Piss-The-Bed” incident revealed.
That conversation started a feud between us. Every day I am retired from healthcare reminds me that I don’t have to practice “nonjudgmental acceptance” anymore … ever again!!! I don’t have to deal with situational value systems.
Had I NOT known this relative so well I would have attributed this vile pissing behavior to his disease process. Instead, I see a consistent character flaw of his I had been aware of for decades. (But he did have a stroke and they do mess you up … I struggle … I wanna give him the benefit of the doubt … maybe discuss it over lunch at Cracker Barrel so he can short change the tip and badmouth the busy young waitress as she works her ass off paying for college? No. I won’t do that to myself or a waitress. Only option here: Continue the feud!).
With this in mind and the current administration in office (bolstered by his cult) when I decided to retire the decision was easy. No more low-class, low-life, inbred situational value systems or selfish protesters spreading a killer virus to deal with!!!! Show me the exit…I am outta here!
Never looked back. Smartest, healthiest decision of my life.
Stay safe. Isolate. Mask and glove when out and about. Wash your hands and tip at the drive through.
To people that have situational value systems …. YOU SUCK!