By Mr. Schnell
I recently ran across an article discussing leadership integrity that mentioned something of which I was unaware but solved a mystery I had been pondering for awhile. It concerned dining in restaurants with certain relatives and noticing their personality “change” when the waiter arrived. They seemed to suddenly become rude, demanding, and embarrassingly obnoxious. For me it ruins the dining experience so I turn down their invitations now.
I wondered what the hell was going on but now know my relatives are practicing something known as a “situational value system”.
Bill Swanson, Raytheon CEO/Chairman stated, “Watch out for people who have a situational value system, who can turn the charm on and off depending on the status of the person they are interacting with. Be especially wary of those who are rude to people perceived to be in subordinate roles.”
The article further mentioned that “a person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person“. I agree.
I also think this can be extended to include hospitalized patients with situational value systems.
A while back one of my relatives had a stroke. We talked on the phone and he mentioned he had to urinate so he put his call light on for the nurse. He told me that she did not answer his light fast enough so “to teach her a lesson” he “pissed the bed so she would have to clean it up”. His words. That was what he said to me (at the time I was an ICU nurse working open heart recoveries).
I don’t know if that actually happened (he was post-stroke and about 500 miles away) but that is what he told me on the phone. I could only take his word, but I have to tell you I was “not impressed”. As a nurse myself, I have had to clean up messes like he described. Some patients are sick and don’t know what they are doing but I also believe now that some have a “Situational Value System”. This particular relative viewed nurses as “working for him” and therefore “subordinate”. (Similarly he views waiters or waitresses as subordinates when dining in a restaurant. They “work for him!”).
He is the same relative that said you make the highest rank you can so you “can shit on everyone else“. This was years before he had a stroke. (When I look at Trump I see this relative. Guess who he voted for in 2016 and guess who hates my anti-Trump cartoons?)
Nurses put up with lots of “misbehavior”. It comes with the territory of working with the ill. People are not always in their right frame of mind when sick. We practice “nonjudgmental acceptance” and forge ahead taking care of patients in the most professional, caring, compassionate way we can; regardless of their behaviors and actions.
And sometimes, unfortunately, we have to endure how much the patient appreciates our efforts, as this “Piss-The-Bed” incident revealed.
That conversation started a feud between us. Every day I am retired from healthcare reminds me that I don’t have to practice “nonjudgmental acceptance” anymore … ever again!!! I don’t have to deal with situational value systems.
Had I NOT known this relative so well I would have attributed this vile pissing behavior to his disease process. Instead, I see a consistent character flaw of his I had been aware of for decades. (But he did have a stroke and they do mess you up … I struggle … I wanna give him the benefit of the doubt … maybe discuss it over lunch at Cracker Barrel so he can short change the tip and badmouth the busy young waitress as she works her ass off paying for college? No. I won’t do that to myself or a waitress. Only option here: Continue the feud!).
With this in mind and the current administration in office (bolstered by his cult) when I decided to retire the decision was easy. No more low-class, low-life, inbred situational value systems or selfish protesters spreading a killer virus to deal with!!!! Show me the exit…I am outta here!
Never looked back. Smartest, healthiest decision of my life.
Stay safe. Isolate. Mask and glove when out and about. Wash your hands and tip at the drive through.
To people that have situational value systems …. YOU SUCK!
Does Anyone Know Where I Set My Coffee? 
Well said! I did not know there was a wonderful name for this syndrome. I have seen this weird shift in social behavior on a couple occasions and it was indeed uncomfortable! I also liked your cartoon! Only bested by a tee shirt of dick head with the slogan “flush the turd on November third!”
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This explains a lot. Situational value system. It also made me smile. I dated a waitress for years, so I got told a lot of rude customer stories. I also got the other side – the ways the serving staff can and do take revenge. They don’t practice non-judgemental acceptance. So maybe that rude person got a little more than they bargained for in their dessert. As for someone who’s going to catheterize me? I’d be sure to treat that person like my best friend. Non-judgemental awareness – yes, but you can still make it hurt. Respect. Keep well!
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“Only option here: Continue the feud!”
Schnell… Schnell…
I would think that you of all people would know that if you argue with a fool that only indicates that you are a bigger fool.
Feuding with this worst-case version of your genome will only hurt yourself… high blood pressure, ulcers, other stress-related problems… unless, of course, this is not a source of stress for you, but is actually a game that you enjoy playing… in that case, GAME ON!!!
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My therapist says we will know more after the electro shock therapy and lobotomy.
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Good luck with that.
Wait a minute!
Wouldn’t they be considered Elective Procedures, which are currently not allowed due to The Virus?
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“THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD. WRITE AND DRAW! TELL IT ALL.”
I hope that’s not a Sharpie™️ you’re holding.
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It’s not. It is an old government pen I stole before I left the VA.
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Watch out!
BARRFF might be coming after you as a distraction from Ki45*TF’s Real Crimes!!!
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“EMPTY THE GARBAGE VOTE BLUE IN 2020”
Let’s see here…
toilet paper stuck to shoe… check…
super-long red tie… check…
uh-oh!… ERROR!!!…ERROR!!!…
hands are waaaaaaay too big!!!
You oughta know better!!!
Turn in your Sharpie™️!!!
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yeah, I totally blew it there. take my sharpie…sob sob
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“ Wash your hands and tip at the drive through.”
“tip at the drive through.”
Dang! I had not thought of that!
Is that really a thing?
Do people really do that?
I’m NOT being facetious.
I honestly do not know if that is the appropriate thing to do.
And… wouldn’t that extra transfer of currency just be one more chance to transfer the virus?… unless, of course, you just add the tip to the credit card charge like in a real restaurant.
Don’t be pulling my leg. Tell me the truth.
I will start doing it if it really is the right thing to do.
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I leave a tip. If not allowed to accept they will tell you. Ask them if it is okay to leave a small tip to show your appreciation. (Don’t do it at places that will reprimand or fire employees…you will soon find out which places are like that and it won’t be a surprise. Cheapskate employers that don’t provide a living wage…I bet you could name a few.)
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Great Post Mr Schnell.
Situational Value System; AKA Snobbery.
My family are of the silver spoon line, they believe they are blue blooded, but at an expensive “Public School” I coughed/vomited up the silver spoon. It is hard keeping a relationship with these people knowing the expression they would make if they got something like me on their shoe.
At the other end of the spectrum, I spent 3 years looking after folk with learning disability. Some of them were very hard to like, but I eventually understood they were no less nice people, but they lacked the intellectual capacity to hide the ugly side of their nature. Understanding this helped, I could, sometimes see past the ugly person to the vulnerable one behind.
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I have always had be understanding of others, walk in their shoes. Taking a much needed “empathy-for-assholes” break. it is nice.
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Yes my role with these disabled folk was a little specialised. If I had depended on them for a life long living I would have despised them for sure!
But generally one learns to have pretty low expectations of human creatures.
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Agreed!
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